Striving To Make Your Identity Normal Can Make You Happy

Making my identity normal enough for me makes me happy

Summary by:

Identity and Chronic Illness

• Chronic Illness can have a profound impact on our identity

• I feel like saying: “This isn’t me. How did I come to be like this?”

• Can’t perform our regular roles in society.

• Source of focused identity rather than the illness

• Disruption of self with chronic illnesses

Illness Identity:

• Engulfment: How much does my illness engulf my life? Defining myself by my illness?

• Rejection: Hiding my illness, not sharing it with others.

• Acceptance:
• Acknowledging my illness without being overwhelmed by it.
• Difficulty coping getting engulfed by it, yet acceptance presents with less symptoms!
• Which comes first?
• Work on the acceptance, make it happen.
• Incorporate the identity of illness without having it as my whole identity with enrichment.
• Breathes less anxiety and depression, less symptoms and less pain.
• A hyper focus required.

Enrichment: Allow myself to be positive despite the illness, enabling me to grow as a person.

Importance of Grief:

• Grieve what is lost to us, very important.
• Some things can be lost ‘forever’.
• Accept and make peace with that.
• Don’t allow myself to go into darkness that ‘all is lost’ as it isn’t realistic.
• If we grieve over it and accept it, it can enrich our lives.
• Relish and return to things you loved, even if you are not able to participate but enjoy anyway.
• Example of losing ballet, seeing a ballet concert to enjoy it anyway.
• Finding a way to validate my love of it that way.
• Try to reclaim what I have lost and find a way to bring consistency in my life, just a different way.
• For example: I can watch the ballet from YouTube in my bed if needed to keep the continuity.
• Finding new ways, new passion.
• Think in new ways and values as we age, priorities change with life experience with wisdom creating a renewed identity.

Personality Attributes:

• Types of people is personality
• Type A, and Hostility: Neurotic can make it more challenging for those with chronic illnesses
• Optimistic personality makes the chronic illness more bearable with hope and positive thinking, believing a positive outcome will come of the illness and recovery.

DB: I wasn’t able to speak on stage after my chronic illnesses, but I found a way by writing blogs and eventually videos sharing all I have learnt about chronic illness and how to predict, prevent and reverse.

It began as a hobby for me to share my thoughts to others and to help grieve it all and make new pathways after acceptance and enrichment entered my life. My hope is that it will do the same for you.

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