Accepting Mid-Life Crisis With Grace

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 Bible (KJV)

By Debby Blettner

Three successive years of mid-life crises took place in Perth, Western Australia from 1998-2000. I was in my late 30’s and my husband in his late 40’s with our two girls aged 7-9, and 2-4 years.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.“ Bible KJV. Hebrews 11: 6

– July 1998: By faith the Asian Financial Crisis lead us to return to Perth from Indonesia only to discover my childhood best-friend had stage 4 cancer.

– January of 1999: By faith I also discovered I had cancer, choosing surgery to remove the primary tumor, requiring 4 days in hospital; but evidence of precancerous cells remained. After a fall I developed an acute frozen shoulder, regretfully placing my arm in a sling for pain relief, extending my healing outcome from 1 to 3 years of disability.

– February 1999: By faith I was invited to attend a Cancer Retreat for 5 days, researching immune system functionality as a viable cancer treatment. Upon my return, I found my childhood friend comatose, stirring for a moment of time to secure eye contact; conversing all we needed to say in our departure.

– April 1999: By faith I attended my childhood best friend’s funeral; leaving behind her parents, her husband and two young sons.

– September 1999: By faith our family moved from our small apartment to a large, unfurnished, 111 year old house, beside friends who needed our assistance with their 5th child’s delivery.

– November 1999: By faith my husband, was diagnosed with cancer with the prospect of having three months to live, without immediate surgery. The surgical results were so astounding his surgeon requested permission to share the outcome with his colleagues. He is still alive and well today.

– July 2000: By faith I had a mastectomy for preventative cancer with reconstruction, requiring 10 days in hospital. After my husband’s surgical loss, I felt prepared to face mine. We survived with the help of live in friends to assist our family in time of crisis.

Through it all I could only surrender, accept and pray for divine grace to be able to make it through the mounting events, attempting to avoid psychiatric care, which during that time, was a genuine concern.

In order to save my sanity I plugged into music and audios from NuBeat.com. The songs helped transport me to the heavenlies, changing my perspective, re-framing my thoughts, if not my situation. I sang out loud, laughed out loud when possible, quoted scriptures and flooded my world with God’s Word, Scriptures, promises, love and mercy.

Through it all I discovered that when I had no fear, I felt intense faith.

Surrendering to His higher will, choosing acceptance, being willing to surrender while giving up what I treasured, gave me peace, serenity and faith. The only way to heal was to say YES to the situation, knowing there must be a reason for this midlife crisis.

It’s difficult to describe my transformation. It was like looking at myself as a former caterpillar, now morphing into a butterfly.

Our future continued to be uncertain, both of us now cancer patients, yet we were blessed with a three-year pension for my frozen shoulder disability.

Grace came when I surrendered to my situation and God’s plan for my life, feeling release from pain- emotional and physical. I felt loved like never before, awakening to new possibilities, opening my eyes to the ones I loved the most. The transformation made it worth it all.

These three years are my special touchstone for any future trials and tribulations. When you come to the end of yourself, everything becomes possible.

Song: Don’t be afraid of tears. (One Day At a Time #4 )