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Category Archives: Emotional Healing

Can People Pleasing Be A Hidden Link?

Is your hidden link people pleasing?

It has been for me…what about you?

Try to please yourself before you please people.

Try to please yourself before you please people.

Summary of Kaliopi Nikitas on People Pleasing:

  • People pleasing and chronic illness
  • Nervous system and stress response
  • Suppressing your own emotions
  • Suppressing assertiveness and own needs
  • Impacts Immune System
  • Chronic state of stress
  • Lifetime people pleasing stress

Remember: We all have stress, choose wisely after what you learnt today.

In case you missed it:


How To Feel Better And Safe With Complex Trauma


What is Complex Trauma while feeling better and safe?

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Complex Trauma:

I have been professionally diagnosed with Complex Trauma.

I’m sharing my story hoping you will find relief and safety. But most of all recognizing the change required for your happier life. Check this article out!

By copying and pasting the info of each section into my highlighted word doc, the highlighted words struck me. They revealed themselves as true and insightful, yet also very upsetting. So a trusted Psychological therapist will definitely help. That way you have someone confidentially to talk to another human being face to face in a safe environment.

By presenting this global overview of my life through this extra information, I believe my therapist will gain more insights into my healing.

Hopefully this will speed up my recovery process to live a more normal life as I age. So far it has been a massive relief like a huge part of me is no longer with me. It felt like I had lost a huge weight loss, feeling and looking so much better.

Check out the location nearest to you and view their website photos of the therapists. Scan their photos and see which one you feel comfortable with.

You could even try sharing your deepest secret with the photo you feel comfortable with, envisioning yourself in her therapy room. If you can share it via her photo in private, there is a good chance, with time, you could heal your life with this new found person sharing your life safety and confidentiality.

Check with your GP to set up a safe, recommended space for you. Start living again.

Complex Torture:

Recently my close friend was diagnosed with trauma at the level of torture by a professional Psychiatrist.

That got my attention!

Over the past eight months we both opened up to our traumas. Why did I identify with a diagnosis so grave?

The digging begins. Though it’s terrifying, it’s also relieving. It really isn’t and wasn’t my fault.

If this resonates with you please think about connecting with a clinical psychologist. It has the potential to heal you when you have tried everything else.

Watch this Video:

See if it helps you…

READ NEXT:

https://www.auroraeducationwa.com/agoraphobia-how-to-release-your-fear-of-leaving-your-home/


Visionary Victim? Retell Your Story By Changing Your Better History

Visionary Victim was my assessment outcome of my Stuck Story.

I also gained three personal power words: strategic, creative and determined to add to my bio, personal story and brand. How good is that?

Try it out yourself and see what your assessment tells you here. (https://www.cynthiagarcia.com/assessment)

The very fact that I am in the process of writing my personal memoir makes this information very productive and insightful.

Will I come across as a strong female protagonist?

Who knows…as a spiritual author, both the book and myself are transforming regularly, so the titles and subtitles take a life of their own. They change with the waves splashing on the shore, bringing up new insights, new skills and new recognition of how and why I have come this far and still alive.

READ NEXT:

How To Survive After A Perceived Threat


Feel Better Happy Releasing Fear of Leaving Your Home

Helpful Tips For Agoraphobia Confining You To Your House

Get the release you deserve…

Dream or Premonition?

I woke up with two issues this morning.

One was a flashback of a severe car accident when I was nineteen when I was not at the wheel. So having my husband drive me to the appointment I had today made me shiver.

I realized I wasn’t in control of the car in either trips. Addressing the fear, recognizing it could paralyze me, but choosing to understand that I have made four trips previously to my appointed place today, so there was no reason to fear. I got through it.

I hadn’t thought of that accident for ever, so it surprised me that I still had that thought tucked away inside of me. Time to face it as I was no longer a teenager. So I can see it as an adult now.

But the weird thing was that my husband was parallel parking as he usually avoids it. I felt a strong feeling to get out of the car in order to help direct him.

Suddenly a young lady appeared in front of me while he was reversing directly towards her. I called out to her to move out of danger, myself included. It appeared he wasn’t looking behind him as he drove. She thanked me profusely before safely crossing the road.

My mind went numb and into panic mode and was quite shaken up. Fortunately the incident was right outside the building I was visiting for my complex trauma sessions.

Was the dream a form of a premonition? What would have happened if I hadn’t heeded the message to get out of the car when I did?

Vulnerability:

Next, I felt vulnerable with my last appointment. Some unexpected things happened, so it made me feel vulnerable to attend this recurring appointment.

On top of that I had an even more vulnerable incident a year ago, that I will be facing the same people who witnessed my vulnerability once again after having hid from them for a year. Another reason to stay home and feel safe.

But is that the solution?

Both events due today and tomorrow are valid. I know I need to face them both, so I will. I choose to face my own vulnerability as I also know that those I will interact with are safe, and I have had time to heal from the events.

But I used the autogenic technique I recently learnt from Light Hearts Uk and was calmed enough to tell you about my agoraphobia, making me feel vulnerable again! Such is life.

We are all vulnerable at some time in our life.

Since I have a goal to travel overseas post covid 19, I am taking this time to focus on my agoraphobia so that I can move forward.

Having been house bound for many years due to my chronic illnesses I am at a point of healing where I can restart my life, re-enter society, go shopping, help out voluntarily like I used to, and be a part of the world apart from my blog posts behind my computer. I’m coming out!

Ps: Both events I was traumatized by turned out very well for me, so much better than I thought they would be.

READ THIS: https://psychcentral.com/lib/20-tips-to-recover-from-agoraphobia#3

WATCH THIS: https://www.youtube.com/embed/-fCAZoevM_k?feature=oembed

READ NEXT:

Helpful Information On Stress And It’s Affect On Our Health


How To Survive After A Perceived Threat

Do you feel threatened right now?

Do this..

I had a wonderful day yesterday but woke up feeling threatened this morning.

The threat was real for me as it had happened before with dire consequences that have affected me ever since.

Now it was potentially happening again.

Even though it didn’t happen, I was still in need of something to calm down my nervous system, giving me the opportunity to write up and publish this blog post.

Through my research, just yesterday, I discovered this free mini-course for 10- days with an offer for a 10-week course, all free and online.

The very first day of the 10-day selection did the magic I desperately needed.

I hope it will do the same for you.

Visit this website to see the other 9 days of help.

Free Online Mental Health Course – 10 Days for Mental Health (lighthearts-uk.com)

READ NEXT:

Accepting Mid-Life Crisis With Grace


Helping Each Other Is The Secret to Feeling Better

Feeling better is a step to being better

This is the last session at the Balya Cancer Retreat

By Dr Jason Han PhD

Disclaimer: Notes recorded by Debby Blettner

  1. Have your values changed since you had cancer?
  2. How? What are the disadvantages of having cancer?
  3. What are the advantages, good or bad of having cancer?

All of the above learned at the Retreat is needed to improve your immune system.

Even if you diet correctly and have no success- what happened? You missed the point!

Enjoy whatever you are doing.

Look at the whole picture.

Use a combination of diet, a nutritional program, a psychological group support program and the medical. A Holistic Approach!

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to fish and feed him for life.

Dr Han shared the story of the difference between Heaven and Hell, and gave the two pictures.

One picture was of hell, it had a big pot of stew and men sitting around the pot of stew all holding long wooden spoons, all grumbling and griping that they couldn’t eat the food.

The next scene was of the same pot of stew with each man dipping their wooden spoon into the soup and serving the other, and getting fed themselves.

Helping each other is the secret!

  • Just attending a support group six times a year has proven to double your life span.
  • If you feel saturated with knowledge, when the student is ready the teacher will teach.

Now, I’ve talked the talk, you walk the walk!

Enjoy the walk!

READ NEXT:

https://thechalkboardmag.com/functional-medicine-cancer-prevention


Visualization: What Powerful Things Can You See?

Visualisation:

By Dr Jason Han PhD in 1999

Disclaimer: Notes recorded by Debby Blettner

This next chapter for the Cancer Retreat is about Visualization and Meditation breathing techniques, and a final note.

  • Athletes use visualization to achieve and break records.
  • Students use it to pass exams.
  • Businessmen use it to help their business.
  • We use it to help our health.

First make verbal affirmations, then make Visualizations

  • It helps to bring about changes in attitude.
  • It helps us to cope with stress,
  • It gives you a sense of control, and helps to abandon fear.
  • Use it to communicate through to subconscious mind.

Dr. Ivy Bullen showed pictures that were taken from the audience, in an earlier session, to show how different people pictured their cancer and immune system.

Some of the cancers looked like absolute demons and monsters and the immune system looked totally helpless.

Then she showed a picture of cancer cells like frail broken egg shells and huge “pack men” surrounding the cancer with shark’s teeth, looking very ferocious, the cancer cells were saying in a caption: “Were dead!”

By Debby Blettner:

One particular man was very, very fearful at the Retreat, and his picture that he drew was very frightening. Even at the end of the Retreat, after all of the input, when other patient’s pictures had vastly improved, his was still frightening, and showed little hope. He died one week after the Retreat.

Yet there was an interview with a patient who had had three brain tumors, two were surgically removed, and when the third tumor appeared he took time to go to the Cancer Retreat. He applied all that he had learned at the Retreat and after a period of six weeks, he saw his doctor for another scan.

He had been told there was no more the doctors could do, so they wanted to see how much it had grown, to determine how much time to give the patient. The results proved that there was no trace of the cancer, it had disappeared!

This was the same patient who drew the “packmen” as his immune system, and the fragile eggshell as his cancer cells. He meditated 2-3 hours daily, wrote and said lots of positive affirmations, had an attitude change, looked at the diet and juices as being good for him and beneficial. He also prayed, being a Catholic.

Give yourself more power!

No matter how big the tumor is, see it as weak and vulnerable. See the treatment you are doing as positive, everything under control.

If you choose to have chemotherapy or radiotherapy, be committed and think positively about it.

It you have a negative attitude about it, it won’t do you any good.

Look at radiation as a white healing light, that if you have it, it will make your immune system more powerful.

Visualize a mop up squad to clean up the battlefield!

You can drop your pulse rate through visualization.

Visualize in the future, what you would like to be happening.

You must have a cleaning up, mopping up squad to show the immune system has defeated the cancer, the end is complete in your visualization.

For a few days show the cancer cells being dealt with by the immune system, the cancer cells getting smaller, and the immune system getting larger and more powerful, attacking new cancer cells.

After that the Natural Killer cells are getting stronger and scouting out new cancer cells.

When taking vitamins, visualize the NK’s getting stronger and more powerful. Take one and a half hours meditation, two times a day at least when you are fighting cancer.

Juices: carrot, celery and beetroot, are very important. Enjoy the food and the juices.

When I followed this plan with visualization, my NK’s shot up from 92 to 156, which according to Dr. Bullen was quite phenomenal, in 6 weeks.

A second time, my NK’s fell, after my childhood girlfriend died from cancer. I was again aggressively using these methods and prayer, and my NK’s recovered almost to normal range over a short period of time.

Later that year my NK’s dropped again, after my husband had surgery for cancer. Even though the NK’s dropped low, I did not take the time or effort to visualize the NK’s increasing, nor did I concentrate on any specific positive affirmations concerning my health, and the NK’s continued to fall.

This was accompanied by an increase in pre-cancerous cells and tumor marker CA-15 increase, resulting in a mastectomy.

After these stressful events my NK test results rose once again, from 92 – 148. My tumor marker CA-15 also down 10 points from 34 to 24.

Testing is very helpful.

By Dr Ivy Bullen:

  • 10 minutes of laughter = 2 hours of no pain as it is releasing endorphins which are natural pain killers.
  • When laughing, air passes from your lungs at the rate of 50 -60 miles, per hour!
  • Watch a funny movie daily, if you have pain, one funny movie can give up to four hours of no pain.
  • Stats show that as people grow older, they laugh less. This is dangerous!
  • Children laugh a lot more.
  • It is statistically proven that NK’s increase after a funny movie. It increases cytokines, which are important for the function of the immune system.

He who laughs, lasts!

READ NEXT:

This is the last Cancer Retreat session by Dr Jason Han:


Encouragement – An Enormous Gift For All Of Us

“One of the greatest gifts a person can give another is support.” Unknown

By Debby Blettner

I was desperate for a great shot of encouragement.

In the late 1990’s my husband was given immediate surgery to extend the three months of life expected from his diagnosis with aggressive testicular cancer.

I felt it was unfair to be so heavily tested, especially my faith and belief.

My childhood friend died of bowel cancer shortly after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer, plus I was disabled with a severe frozen shoulder.

Surely my life would change forever, once I got through it, regardless of the outcome.

After my tears subsided, I saw a flower stall displaying a bright red, heart-shaped balloon with the inscription, “I love you.”

I purchased it without a thought.

Desperately waiting for his eyes to open after the surgery while my eyes shining from the tears, I approached him with my gift balloon.

I smiled knowing my love and acceptance was the greatest healing potion I could offer.

His eyes welcomed me, as if we had just shared our wedding vows while holding each other’s gaze.

The moment was broken by the announcement that I could take him home as soon as I was ready.

The surgery had been a success!

This memory is more than two decades old but still as fresh to me as a dew-covered rose.

Moving forward, comfort, faith, and acceptance encouraged me to comfort others.

My future became encouragement with those who inevitably fell into my arms, using my shoulder to cry on.

Simply holding them, while shedding tears, helped me to hold my faith and belief that all things work together for good, no matter what. (Romans 8:28)

Oh Lord, make me an instrument of your peace (and comfort.)

Paraphrased from The Prayer of St Francis.’


Unconditional Joy and Happiness: Can I Be Happy?

Lecture about Joy and Happiness:

By Dr Jason Han PhD, In 1999

Disclaimer: Notes recorded by Debby Blettner

Dr Han asked for a show of hands as to whom in the group was happy.

About 50% of the group responded with a “Yes.”

Life is full of simple pleasures.

An Epicurean – is someone who loves food.

Don’t look outside for happiness, all the ingredients are within you.

You don’t need to be a chef to mix all the ingredients to make happiness.

We are taught money can buy you anything, including happiness.

If so, all rich men would tell you they are all happy.

Optimistic people are happy.

Happy people are people who have:

1) High Self Esteem -they like themselves, they have a good sense of self worth.

2) Full sense of control.

3) Optimistic –they are always looking on the bright side.

4) Outgoing – make friends easily, have good communication skills.

Work on yourself to change to become happier!

If you want a good Role model – copy the above points!

When you’re happy you’re NK cells are bubbling over, lots of endorphins!

Let’s be happy!

You are happy because you sing, so reset your nervous system, try assuming a smile.

A frown doesn’t do anything to improve your immune system. It depresses even others immune systems. A smile does wonders for your immune system!

Lift up the corners of your mouth, even pretending does wonders to your immune system!

Endorphins are natural opiates, healing agents, they lower blood pressure, good oxygen therapy.

There are three types of Endorphins, one of those types is 700 times more powerful than morphine!

The Happiness Test:

1) If thing don’t go my way I get very upset. Yes/No

2) I feel good about my body. Yes/No

3) I can accept things the way they are. Yes/No

4) I dislike many people. Yes/No

5) I sometimes wish I had never been born. Yes/No

6) I love sex. Yes/No

7) I like most people. Yes/No

8) I rejoice within myself when someone does well. Yes/No

9) I frequently feel helpless and lost. Yes/No

10) When I make a mistake, I brood over it. Yes/No

Anything less than 7 points in this test means you are not happy!

This test leads you to look at areas where you need to expand on.

“I can accept things the way they are.” If “no”, then work on it. For example, if you get angry then work on it! Be solution oriented, not problem oriented.

Positive affirmations for happiness:

1) I enjoy everything I do.

2) I look forward to each day with great enthusiasm.

3) I have someone to confide in.

4) I love life and life is wonderful.

5) I love my job and I like the people I work with.

6) I am successful in all I do.

Repeat these affirmations 60 times a day to become happier, and to develop a new habit. Listen to the emotion of the words!

What is your Value system? – if you lost all your money, but you have good health and full function of your body, then be happy!

Some parts of India, if you run over a man’s wife he will not be bothered, but if you run over his cow, he will kill you! Different values!

People spend $100,000 or 1\4 of a million on a house, $50,000 on a car, but what about your health?

If you want to be happy – be happy!

LListen to the emotion of the answer to the question, when asking if someone is happy.

READ NEXT:


Aromatherapy- If You Try It You Might Love It

By Dr Ivy Bullen in 1999

Disclaimer: Notes recorded by Debby Blettner

  • Lavender oil heals burns, broken skin, it has incredible healing power.
  • Aromatherapy Products are absorbed into the blood stream.
  • The oils, being pure, are very strong, and it is advisable to get professional advice before using.
  • Smelling goes to the brain.
  • Put Lavender oil on a pillow to help you sleep.
  • If the oil has the Botanical name on the bottle, it has more quality, and is more pure.
  • For one Tablespoon – 30ml, 1 oz, use 7 drops of essential oil.

READ NEXT:


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